My last “Phrases to Use While Training” post generated a lot of comments, so I wanted to write another one to give you more of the phrases I’ve used to explain concepts in our training programs. As in the last post, I’ve put the actual phrases in quotation marks.
“Crisis behavior is NEEDY behavior,” I mentioned in my “HUFF” post. I bring this up when explaining the Crisis Development Model℠ in Unit I. Because behavior is communication, what people in our care are communicating through their behavior is that they have a need. Being aware of this helps staff to focus on the function of the behavior. To look beneath the surface and focus on the “why” behind the behavior. This is consistent with concepts central to Positive Behavioral Interventions and Supports (PBIS).
“If I can manage my own behavior, chances are that I can manage your behavior.” I use this to empower staff to use a Directive approach not as a way of showing everyone who’s boss, but to suggest that taking control of a potentially escalating situation begins with staff taking control of their own emotions and behavior. This also applies, of course, to the discussion on Rational Detachment. On a similar note, I like to suggest to participants that “a Directive approach begins at home.” This means that we often have to begin an intervention by focusing on ourselves first so that we don't become a Precipitating Factor.
“What you have to say to me is none of my business.” I learned this one from one of our participants several weeks ago. I really like it. It speaks to not taking what people say to us personally. The phrase can be part of your lecture on Rational Detachment.
“A challenging question is an invitation to their argument party.” This focuses on the intervention related to challenging questions. With this phrase, I try to empower staff to not get in a power struggle with the person asking the challenging question.
“Words are used to camouflage, words are used to build walls, and words are used to hide behind those walls because of fear, because of suppression of horrible memories, because of embarrassment.” I say this every time I describe the third guideline of Empathic Listening. That guideline requires us to listen to what the person is REALLY saying; to focus on the feelings and not just the facts. Another phrase I use to explain Empathic Listening is “Facts are presented as words, but words are not always factual.”
Please add your own phrases and comments below so that we can all benefit. Thank you.